Friday, December 23, 2016

Train Wreck

I'm ready to put my decorations away. My daughter says to hang on until after Christmas but I just want to de-clutter. There isn't such a word except in my vocabulary but if you have not guessed, it means slow the fast train down. Grandma wants off. My life is over flowing on the best of days and with the holidays, I slipped over the cliff into exhaustion. Exhaustion is not good. It put me down for a week with low vitals and I did not have a week to give where I was too weak to even knit or sew.

Kirk and I have begun working on organizing this fall. We are feeling our world spinning out of control and we desperately need control. Each box we go through and toss items from gives us a cleansing feeling. Each organizational project we accomplish eases our work load. Everything we get done for the livestock whether it is a shed, gate, or cage makes our life easier. "A place for everything and everything in its place." my grandfather used to say but then he did not have so many things but we shall try.  You need tools, tools, tools.It is the curse of being self-sufficient.

Don't misconstrue me into a Ba Humbug. I've noticed that those of you from town or city situations are extremely big on entertainment. It would be hard to begin to comprehend out lifestyle especially in the addition of fill in parenthood at 57.  Even though many of you don't comprehend what it takes just imagine  for a moment if you were in charge of maintaining your own road  which includes clearing snow and smoothing the washboards; if you had to treat and deal with your own sewage; your own water resource and treatment system; if you had to produce your own food and do your own house repairs, then how much stress would you feel during the holidays? Holidays blown out of proportion by society but that is my opinion. I believe commercialization has made the holidays very difficult for all along with more people with free time on their hands.

I love Christmas music, decorations, and I adore my Savior but this holiday after holiday thing ruins my good cheer by the time Christmas roles around. Some money would ease the situation but what I'd really like is to reinvent the holidays. I'm not really sure how. If you've got ideas, I'd love them.

As for Halloween, I've made a decision  about the grand daughters. I'm not making costumes if you are eleven and older. I've made most of the four grand daughter's costumes since they were tiny. I've tried the not making them but that brought about disaster each time so I've got to find a way to slow down. That is my first step. I've assigned the eleven and older girls to make their own costumes since there is no school party. Next year I will have two, not four to make. In fairness the present eleven year old did her own costume this year which gave me the idea.

If I could really reinvent the holidays, I'd skip Halloween all together but I know there are those who adore the thing. As for Thanksgiving, since we won't have Halloween then lets put it in October when the garden harvest is fresh. That would give me two months until Christmas. It was difficult when we lived in town but  I sent Christmas cards before Christmas. I made up plates of goodies for friends and neighbors and yes, struggled to get presents done but still more did get done. Yes, it would all be different if we did not have the four girls but I would not trade that for easier holidays so I'd better figure something out.

This year I skipped Thanksgiving and Kirk and I had leftovers. The task was big but it is much larger now. There just was no way to get the sheds, corrals, and cages all cleaned because all the grandkids would want to tromp in and out to visit the animals. I knew Iwould not get the house cleaned and the food all made so I simply took the holiday off. Next year I will have to push much, much, more on to others and see what happens. If it does not work then we will have do something else.

For Christmas the girls have decided to spend part of the day with their mom instead of all of us staying here. I can't blame them as they are there so seldom. I will do a large breakfast for when their mom arrives after graveyards and after church they will stay with her for a few hours before she goes on graveyard shift and they return. I really need to rethink birthdays too. Something has to break besides me.

Can we move Christmas off to January for what I really want is to get back to organizing and finding a place for everything and put everything in its place. The things we did over the last year have made a huge help in time savings and work load. There is so much more of fixing and organizing to do and I'd like to get doing it. Workaholic I know but I do the same for a holiday it is just I can't work any harder. As we become more self-sufficient I'm sure the busy work will lesson as things become more efficient but that won't mean we are any less busy. I don't want to wish the holidays away but there has to be a semblance of peace on earth or this grandma is getting off the run away train.


  1. I sure hope you find some time for self-care and a bit of relaxation, although I'm sure it's hard! I know how animals always need tending, etc, and don't take a break for holidays or birthdays. Hang in there! I've wondered how you manage?!!

  2. Shear determination my dear, that is how I've kept going. I'm going to change that though. I'm thinking long and hard about my goals for every part of our lives and I'm going to make changes. Have a wonderful Christmas.